Camel Crickets, otherwise known as 곱등이

I have made a horrific discovery. 

The Camel Cricket.

I had one of these in my classroom a couple weeks ago. Luckily, it hadn't reached this size, but good heavens! My student found it dead under his desk. He said, "Teacher, there's something dead over here." I said, "Oh really, what is it?" But, he had it covered with something. I then turned to answer a question from another student. When I turned back around, previous student had it on a piece of paper, which was now in my face, causing me to jump back and yell, "MY GOODNESS!" As he moved it to the garbage can, approximately half the class screamed. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. And it was just hanging around, dead, in my classroom.

I have now researched them. They are harmless, live in caves or dark places on every continent and grow to be huge, so people are afraid of them. 

Centipedes, Cockroaches, Camel Crickets. What other horrifying bug will I find in Korea...That will also apparently start with a C.

UPDATE: I looked up bugs that start with C. The only other ones are caterpillars (cute!) and catawba worms, which turn into large moths. So maybe the next will be a giant, normal centipede. Bleck

Hair and Cockroaches

Today, I had someone pick my hair off my coat for me. It would have been ok if it was one of my friends.

It wasn't.

It was a random woman at the bus stop.

When I looked at her, she said "Hair" in Korean, then proceeded to pick another two strands of hair off my coat.

It was a little strange. And yet, somehow normal in Korea.

Also, I had a dream that a giant, spotted cockroach landed on my face, while on a bus. Kaitlyn was very helpful and said it probably happened in real life and I incorporated it into my dream. Gross. I'm banking on the fact that I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as a spotted cockroach.

I will try and get better about blogging this month. I have lots to catch up on!

More bugs, Staring and Hairy Monsters

When I last updated, I had just gone to the Victoria and Albert museum exhibit. Actually, no, it had been a while, I just hadn't kept up my blogging. That was an interesting exhibit. I love learning about European Kings etc, so it was a pretty great exhibit. Since then, life has been very exciting. There was a bug on my bed. I fell out of a chair and ran into a desk at the same moment, resulting in a leg wound. I was stared at. I saw some cats.

Oh wait, no that's not true. I live in Korea, so many exciting things have happened. I think I will start with student stories this time. First, I must update you with this picture:

One of my former middle school students drew this...Apparently I have a football head. Maybe he's seen "Hey, Arnold" and thought it was a good thing.

Actually, I think this picture is quite hilarious. My favorite part of the picture is the hair on certain people....aka Michelle, the owner of our school. No, that's not what her hair actually looks like.

Facebook just tried to get me to spell "Velociraptor" "Velocipede." Can you imagine a velociraptor-centipede. The horror! The teeth and the legs! And the aggression.

While we're at it, here's Veloci-bee:


There actually was a bug on my bed. I was minding my own business laying down, when suddenly "Plop!" there's a bug next to my hand. It was gross. I sent it flying off my bed, which meant that I promptly lost it in my room and spent many a minute attempting to find that bug. I did and he met his match in the form of my shoe. I'd thought that it fell from my ceiling, until I saw one a couple days later in my room and it was flying. Also, I developed super-human bug hearing, so I actually heard that one land on the floor across the room, before I saw it fly.

The bugs in my apartment are not only giving me super-hearing, but also are causing me to jump when I see the shadow of my arm move. Or my blanket out of the corner of my eye. or my foot touches my other leg...Perhaps one day I will get over the horror of that centipede and the bugs. As I write this, I had a small white thing on my leg and I jumped extremely dramatically, only to remember it was the end of a roll of tape I had just started.

In other news, I spent about 2 weeks forgetting my camera wherever I went. I went to a Cat Cafe with Carrie, which was kind of cool. If you can't tell, it was a cafe where cats just wander around aimlessly and you pet them. Carrie spent her time being loved by the cats and petting them and having them chase her toys. I spent my time getting repeatedly hissed at for touching the cats and having them ignore my toy. Not that I'm bitter.

Perhaps they sensed my fear of this cat and resented me for it:

That thing was just gross. Carrie loved it. But it was gross. To quote "Friends"--"Maybe it's because it's a minion of the anti-Christ."

There was also a cat with little-mini midget legs. It was very adorable.

Here are some pictures, courtesy of Carrie.


-I resent being placed in a box shaped like my head.
I would glare, but I can't see you anyway.

I think I ate too much.

My ears are squooshed, so I shall sleep my life away.

Last Saturday, I went to dinner with a bunch of friends from work and other people that I met that day. It was very fun. We had Korean BBQ as usual, then wandered around a bit and of course ended up at our usual place, Ho Bar. I know I've always joked about the Tides being my high school mascot, but I didn't quite realize that other people would think it was equally funny. We were talking about our various mascots, so of course I said "We were the Tides. Our mascot was a wave," which everyone found deeply amusing. Poor, put upon Gig Harbor.

Sunday, I met up with Carrie and her friend Rosie in Insa-Dong to find presents for Grant and Adrienne for their birthdays. Rosie's visiting, so she wanted to go too. I found Grant an awesome pocket-watch among other small things. I cannot say Adrienne's present because her birthday hasn't happened yet. We wandered around Insa-Dong, went to the only Starbucks in Korea that has a Korean sign and got some desert. Then we decided to go to Namsam Tower and explore, which resulted in a "MY CAMERAAAAAAA" Dramatic Realization. That morning I'd thought, "I must not forget my camera" but I did, so I guess I just have to return to Namsam. Darn. It was very cool. This is the view, courtesy of Carrie again:


Photo-Bomb!

That day was full of many interesting moments of me being stared at. Or leered at. Depending on the person. Carrie, Rosie and I were waiting for the subway when, suddenly, an older man about 65 I'd say, said "YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES (or face)!" and then kept walking. I was a little taken-aback. His wife walked by behind him laughing hysterically.

Then, about 2 minutes later, this older security guard, again I'm guessing about 65-70, clicked at me like a horse. Not even joking. He clicked at me like you'd click at a horse when you want it to start walking. Then, when I glanced over, he did a very obvious looking up and down at me, while also leering. Some of you may think I am being dramatic, but, alas, I am not. There are witnesses and Carrie was equally freaked out.

Then, that evening when walking back to my apartment, I was waiting at a light to cross the street. A motorcycle gang, with very decked out motorcycles complete with flashing blue light strips were all sitting on their bikes stopped at the stop. And every single one of them was staring at me. For a good 2-3 minutes. Not even joking. I refer to them now as the Creepy-Rapist-Motorcyclists.

As I write these stories, some of you may think that this is not a normal occurrence for me. It actually is very normal for this to happen to me. Older women stop on the street to watch me walk by. People stare on the subway. On the bus. On the street as I glide by on my hovercraft. Just a couple days ago, I was getting on the bus with Blossom and an older man (this time about 75) said something to me, then proceeded to stare at me the entire time we were driving down the road. I am not sure what he said, because he didn't have any teeth.

At least it makes up for being called a "Hairy-Monster" by a student, because I have a lot of (blonde) hair on my arms. Then, later that week, the same student rubbed my face saying, "furrrr." And yes, this is the same student who asked me what my leg hair was.

I shall end my blog post here for now. Later, I will write about more student stories and finally seeing Kellie!

Dumbledore and Language Barriers

I have another student story that happened today.

I don't even remember what we were talking about, but I said to my students, "Oh you know, I'm really old." And one of my students said, "You're the same age as Dumbledore right?" and I said, "What!?" He said, "Dumbledore was 115 when he died and are you the same age?" I decided to respond maturely and said "No of course not. I'm the same age as Voldemort" (who, if you are not a fan of Harry Potter, was about 67 in the books).

I showed my students pictures of my family, mostly to show that Grant's hair is lighter than mine and they all said "Your brother is very handsome!" I thought Grant would appreciate that.

There was a centipede in Queena's apartment, too. Clearly there is an infestation. She said she's never seen one in the apartment before and there are officially two sightings.

I had a package sent to me (of water filters for my Brita filter, very exciting I know). I wasn't home, so they left it at the market next to my apartment. The man is very friendly but we can't say anything to each other. I basically just said "Box?" and he spoke to me in Korean. I showed him my name and then "package" and "mail" in my phone dictionary. There was a lot of Korean being spoken and me pretending to kind of understand. I actually did kind of understand with his hand gestures, but I had no way of saying "They left a package for me here." Then, I saw my package on the ground and said "AHHH!" and then we both laughed a lot, because we knew we never would have communicated that I needed a box the mail person had left for me. I will be happy when I start Korean classes in September!!

Centipedes, Moustaches and Slushies

This blog post will primarily be about funny stories of things that have happened with my students. But first, I must tell you about the enormous bug I found in my apartment last night.

By found, I mean saw it crawling up my wall, which resulted in me panicking. My natural instinct would have been to scream and run around the room in circles, but unfortunately I live alone and that would not have resolved the issue. At this point it was at the top of my wall. I went and grabbed a shoe, intending to squish it. I walked the two inches to my entry way, grabbed a shoe and by the time I got back to the wall, it was GONE! The speed at which that thing moved was shocking. I managed to find it and kill it (sorry any bug lovers, but under no circumstances was that thing going to be alive in my apartment with me.) I felt flustered and heart-attacky for the rest of the night and kept jumping every time I saw a shadow or my hair touched my arm. Then my friend Emily was kind enough to suggest that maybe the centipede came in on my clothes. Then I started panicking that it came inside in my purse and I'd been carrying it around for hours under my arm. I ended up going to bed much later than planned due to my panicking and phantom itching.

I learned later that it was a House Centipede and harmless to humans for the most part. But I did read this charming explanation of the house centipede: House Centipedes have fangs, which resemble the fangs of a spider, on the underside of their head."

And the one to top it all and prevent any type of sleeping that might have been had last night:

"They do bite humans, but generally that's because you are moving around in your sleep while they are on/in your bedding." Lovely. I am officially going to wake up with a centipede on my face.

This one from Wikipedia makes me laugh though:

"In 1902, C.L Marlatt, an entomologist with the United States Department of Agriculture wrote a brief description of the house centipede: It may often be seen darting across floors with very great speed, occasionally stopping suddenly and remaining absolutely motionless, presently to resume its rapid movements, often darting directly at inmates of the house, particularly women, evidently with a desire to conceal itself beneath their dresses, and thus creating much consternation"

At least it wasn't this type of centipede, which are apparently also found in Korea:


Before this blog post turns into a post all about centipedes, I will move on to a funny story about this weekend. I woke up latish, as I do most weekends because I am recovering from my 6 day work week. I decided to be productive and go to a museum. The one I intended to go to required 2 transfers on the Subway, but I figured that would be ok and it wasn't actually that far. I got on the 2nd line of the 3, thinking I had a few stops until the one I needed to get off on. I was reading my book ("I Know This Much is True" by Wally Lamb) and did not realize how fast the stop came. I thought I was checking every stop, but apparently I missed one and rode past the stop. Unfortunately, I did not notice this for a long time and rode around on the subway for a considerable amount of time, looking up from my book thinking "This is taking longer than it should" until I finally realized I'd missed the stop a long time ago. At that point, it was too late to go to the museum and see it all, so I just went home. My Sunday consisted of a very exciting 2 hour ride on a subway. It was very productive.

Alright, onto my students. I have a few stories. I'm sure there are others that I've forgotten. In fact I know there's one from this afternoon. As it happened, I thought "I've got to remember this for my blog" and about 20 minutes later I'd completely forgotten. Hopefully, I'll remember that one soon. I'm thinking that my sleeping patterns are affecting my memory. Oh the life of being a teacher from 4PM-10PM.

Story 1: This weekend, I was explaining what a moustache was.

Me: A moustache is hair here *Points to area under my nose*
Student 1: "Teacher, your hair is yellow-- is your moustache yellow, too?
Me: Is it normal for a girl to have a moustache:?
All Students: WHOA NOOOOO
Student 1: But teacher, your hair is yellow--is your moustache yellow?
Me: I don't have a moustache!
Student 1: "Yes, but IF you had one, would it be yellow."
Me: "Yes, it would be. IF I had one."
Student: "You have a yellow moustache
Me: HEY

Story 2: I am teaching Arabian Nights to my very young students. The first page talked about the Sultan and how he murdered his wife because she had taken a lover. I was thinking in my head, "How am I supposed to explain this to my students?" I ended up asking my students "Why was the Sultan angry?"

One girl answered, "Because she loved another man" (In her perfect Australian accent. That's still bizarre to me to have a student who's fairly low level speak in a perfect Australian accent).

I said, "Yes, exactly!" feeling a little relieved that I didn't need to go into more detail. But THEN, student number 2 raises his hand. He said, "The Sultan is angry because his wife is a playgirl." My reaction was to laugh hysterically that a 5th grade student had just used the word "playgirl" in my class. The things students come up with!

Story 3: This one requires no explanation.

Me: Your grandfather is elderly. Who else is elderly?
Student: You.
Me: HEY

Story 4: Along the same lines of story 3...aka students making me feel old.

Me: Who has read Harry Potter or seen the movies?
Middle School Student: Ewww, Harry Potter is old and NOT CUTE!
Me: *Thinking "He's younger than me!" did not say that, but I felt very old.

Story 5: One day in class, this kid was goofing off in class. He had his hands sticking out of his sleeves like a T-Rex and came to the front of the class to throw away his slushie, which he'd only finished about half of it. I said to him, "Please put it nicely in the trash. Don't throw it" which resulted in him not listening to me, of course, and attempting to throw it in the garbage from about 5 feet away. But, remember, his arms are in his sleeves like a T-Rex, so his aim was several feet off. I was standing about 2 feet away from the trash and he hit me straight in the stomach with the slushie. The look on his face was extremely hysterical. He looked absolutely terrified. I should have been a little harder on him, but unfortunately, I also thought it was really funny, so I kind of laughed and said "see, that's why we have to put the trash in the trash can nicely. No throwing" Luckily, it came out of my shirt very easily.

Story 6: One of my 4th grade girls has a shirt that says, and I quote directly, "Stop the Apartheid of Lesbian Nazi Lettuce Growers for Jesus of the Nuclear Whale Wars."

Story 7: Not really a story of my students, more of a dream. I had a very strange dream, which involved meeting Jim Broadbent in a movie theater in Seoul, Kellie and Allison Cloud surprising me by randomly showing up in the middle of the street I work/live on and then two of my students forcing me to take them to "Tron" instead of hanging out with said Kellie and Allison. I have not seen Tron, nor have I given Tron any thought in my life, so it was kind of hilarious.

Story 8:
Me: What does "disappear" mean?
Student: Vomit
Me: Vomit?
Student: Yes, vomit
Me: Vomit as in "bleghhhhhh?"
Student: No wait, VANISH!

Story 9:
Me: Who is a thief?
Student: Barack Obama

Story 10: Direct Quotes following a listening test

"The liver is a large body of water." "Rivers can melt the mountain." "The river is as large as our body."

Story 11: Again, not really a story, but I thought I'd include some of the funny names of my students. Most students have English nicknames. Some of them choose the names themselves, others are given to them by other teachers. I have had several Harry's, Ron's and Luna's because of Harry Potter. My favorites have definitely been Kramer, Arnold, Leo, Rocket, Dragon and Raphael for the boys. Girls choose more common names. I've had lots of Jenny's and Sarahs, but some are a little less common like Irene, Milliam, Juliet, Chloe, Stella etc. Arnold is definitely my favorite of the names, because it is hilarious to say, "yes Arnold" Now, if only there was a Helga...

And that's all for now. I am sure many more stories will come!