Friday, September 9, 2011

Vampires and Frankenstein

Oops. I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted! Sorry for various readers out there looking to hear about how I'm doing. I'm sorry I haven't been very good at keeping in contact, but I will try and do better.

I am dedicating this, my 100th post since I began the blog while getting read for Vienna, to student stories. In the next post, I'll write about what I've been up to these days.

Story 1: Me: Ok, this is your homework for tonight" (explains homework here)
Student: Teacher there is too much. The children are dying inside

Story 2:
Student: Teacher, I hate mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are very small vampires. Only they are woman vampires."

We were discussing bugs, including my centipede. I now have a cockroach story to tell as well. More on that later.

Story 3: I behaved very maturely on Monday when 3 of my students gave a presentation on a new disease that they created, which caused excessive armpit hair growth in women. I literally laughed hysterically in the back of the classroom while listening to their speech. I had tears in my eyes. "First the armpit experiences changes. Then, the armpit begins to smell."

Story 4:
Me: How can you tell he's tired?
Student: Because of his face water!
Me: Yes, great. Another word for face water is 'sweat.'

Story 5:
Student: Teacher, can I say 'Bloody hell' in my presentation?
Me: umm no, choose a different phrase.
Student: But it's in Harry Potter! Ron says it all the time!
Me: I know, but choose a different phrase...
Student: How about, 'What the Frankenstein?!"
Me: *laughs hysterically*
Student: What?
Me: I've never heard that before!

Story 6: My student gave a speech on why plastic surgery was a bad idea, giving the example of her mother who got a nose job and now her nostrils are different sizes. Oops

Story 7:
Student: Teacher. What is the word...I think it's "Plant Human?
Me: *thinks briefly* A plant human?
Student: Yes, a plant human...a person who can't move at all or think...they just breathe.
Me: Ohhhh....A vegetable.

Story 8:
One of my students, a 5th grade girl, went to Hawaii for a week. She came back (with chocolate covered macadamia nuts for me) and asked, "Teacher, when I sneezed, why did everyone say "God Bless You." It seems really weird." I explained to her that people used to think their souls would come out of their mouths when they sneezed, which she complete understood.

Story 9: This is a cultural one that is kind of interesting. In Korea, if you write a person's name in red, it means that they are dead. I had just had my students switch their books to grade the in-class test and said "Ok, write CB and your name." One of my young girl students diligently wrote her name next to CB, then suddenly she looks at me with horror, "Teacher I wrote my name in Red!" It was cute. Today, she didn't forget to not write her name in red, which I pointed out.

1 comment:

  1. Oh I was crying from laughing! I had to read these to Doug. Really Lauren you must be a writer as well as a teacher...Your the female Dave Barry. You have a gift! Hope you are doing well and I look forward to reading about your life there. So glad it is proving so interesting for you. I know I look forward to seeing a new posting. We miss you lots. Heard you and Allison have been able to skype with each other. The weather is hot and sunny. Summer but late.